As you read this blog, I must warn that you will find, honest thoughts, ambitions, and hopes from my mind.
So, I walked into the dayroom earlier this afternoon with my blonde should-be-a-model friend, and happened to glance at the TV. Surprise, surprise – the music channel was on. MTV, I believe it was today. Lessons weren’t for another hour, so I sat on a beanbag and watched it for a while.
It was as I perched on my squishy seat that I realised that today’s music videos fall into 3 categories: Creative, Silly, or Sexy. Don’t worry, I will explain.
May otherwise be called Imaginative.
These music videos follow a story line – a tale that somehow matches the song. You see the story unfold, and it can make the song more powerful and emotional. It can also be totally irrelevant to the song but still a great way for singers to try their hand at acting.
Examples: Candy – Robbie Williams
Gives You Hell – The All-American Rejects.
May otherwise be called Childish or Funny.
A video that features the singer(s) running around, pulling faces, jumping on people, etc. Normally for upbeat songs about love.
Examples: Kiss You – One Direction
We Are Never Getting Back Together – Taylor Swift
May otherwise be called Best Video of the Week Voted by Boys.
Involves girls walking around in skimpy clothes or underwear, striking weird poses, playing with their hair a lot, dancing around boys, kissing anyone, etc. Normally for songs with no point whatsoever all about sex.
Examples: Whistle – Flo Rida
Die Young – Ke$ha
Isn’t it sad how the most popular video is never the one with the piano stranded on a beach, singing about the meaning of life, but the one with a girl ‘shaking her booty’ in the camera? Those songs have no importance at all! The videos are full of sex, sun, sex, sea, sex, party, sex, alcohol, and sex.
In a point to show how hilarious these supposed ‘hot girls’ look in these sexist music videos, I attempted to copy the dances. I have only one comment – Those moves are painful! There’s a lot of dropping to the floor, and shaking things you shouldn’t shake… I cannot shimmy! My neck spasmed and my hand got stuck in my hair after the 937th time of running my fingers through it while bouncing slightly, mouth open like a goldfish, looking up to the ceiling.
To be perfectly honest, lads, if these girls were actually wearing clothes, it’d be a totally different story. Next time you watch those videos on repeat, imagine them in school uniform – maybe you’ll realise how darn stupid they look. You’d think after all these video views, they’d be able to buy more than a bikini in January…
Well, my dear readers, I highly reccomend you dance along to these videos – it is seriously entertaining! I hope you enjoyed this blog! Much love to you all. Goodnight.