As you read this blog, I must warn that you will find, honest thoughts, ambitions, and hopes from my mind.
Oh, I do love Big Brother. The normal people that are nobodys, just planted in a house with strangers for a few weeks, whilst being filmed and viewed by the entire nation on TV. The fights, the romances, the bromances, tasks, nominations, evictions – I love it all.
I don’t normally get into the mood for the Celebrity Big Brother… Probably because many people in there had fame so long ago that I wasn’t even born, or because they are ridiculously boring. Normal housemates are generally a lot more weird – Marcus the Dark Horse, anyone? Celebrities never act as crazy as the nobodys…
But not this year. This year, Celebrity Big Brother has been incredible. I loved and hated so many housemates for so many reasons, I thought I should dedicate this blog entry to them, considering tonight was the Final.
7th Place – Frankie Dettori.
Oh, Frankie! A bubbling personality burst from the tiny Italian jockey – I absolutely loved him! Riding Razor as a horse was brilliant, and, despite the age gap, I think he was definitely the most attractive housemate of 2013. If you don’t agree, watch a clip from CBB and look at his bum – now that is a perfect bum. Thank you, Frankie, for that beautiful bum and amazing personality.
5th Place – Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock.
Razor was definitely my favourite in the house. He may not have won CBB – but he certainly won my heart. A hilarious giant of a man – the ideal husband, in my eyes. I would definitely marry him – he’d make you feel so safe, and he’s very gentlemanly. I found his constant show of his pants so funny – particually when he lifted his leg up in front of the massaging lady! I want to meet him purely for a Razor hug. Absolute legend.
4th Place – Claire ‘from Steps’ Richards.
Amazing woman! Her relationship with Rylan was so sweet – a definite friendship there. I particually loved her embarrassed face when the stripper grinded in her face! I wanted to stab the Pratts when Claire didn’t get her letter – she was so upset! I think she’s rather beautiful, and seems so sweet and lovely, bless her. I’m happy she reached 4th place, but she should have beat Ryan to 3rd – he was so boring! Go Claire from Steps, go go go!
2nd Place – Heidi and Spencer Pratt.
Satan’s own children. Evil, bitchy, scheming geniuses. How can you be so horrible? Was there any point in them going on Big Brother? Not letting Claire have her letter, calling Rylan fake and an X Factor reject, and saying that the housemates breathing even annoyed them… Vicious. I feel that had Heidi not met Spencer, she could be quite a sweet girl, but her evil creature of a husband spread his Satanic disease of a personality into her. I wish Razor had punched Spencer when he went near him. One day that man will get what’s coming to him. I call them geniuses though because they were mentioned in every person’s CBB interview, and were talked about by everyone – they got the fame they craved, but why you would want fame for being such horrible people, I have no idea. Strange couple… Made for each other though. They are certainly besotted with each other – at least they have that.
1st Place – WINNER RYLAN CLARK!
YES RYLAN! I cheered this boy on ever since he stepped onto that stage for X Factor. His crying to Nicole Scherzinger made him a permanent home in my heart. I always support the crazy acts – I have every song ever sung by Jedward on my iPod! I cheered on Rylan and was sad to see him go on Week 8. Rylan Clark was over…
OR SO I THOUGHT! Watching the CBB Opening Night and suddenly there he is, in all his Essex glory. Seeing his adorable face made me decide to watch CBB this year.
And I am SO glad I did! His arguments with Speidi were brilliant – how dare they call him fake! Finding a new Dad (Razor) and best friend (Claire), it was clear everybody but the Pratts liked him. Giving into the Maths Challenge and just watching the stripper made me laugh so much. I want to see evidence of him dressed as H for his 13th birthday – it sounds beautiful!
I was sat on the edge of my seat with bated breath, praying for Brian to pronounce Rylan the winner. When he did, I genuinelly screamed and jumped around with my blonde-should-have-been-a-model friend, my ginger friend, and my Elvis-loving friend. I had been supporting him all along, and am so happy he won! Take that Speidi…
As a tribute to Rylan’s tragic loss of facial hair in order to win letters for people from home, I have recreated his iconic facial hair – before he shaved 50% of it off. Big Brother, why so mean?! I also put on a white t-shirt for the photo as he wore one when he celebrated his joyous victory tonight, to celebrate his glorious win. Congratulations, Rylan, you deserve it! Thank you for the endless entertainment!
Well, my dear readers, who did YOU want to win CBB 2013? Comment below! Thanks for reading this blog, and have a laugh at my photo below! Much love to you all. Goodnight.