As you read this blog, I must warn that you will find, honest thoughts, ambitions, and hopes from my mind.
I AM BACK!!!!!!
Oh dear readers, I cannot apologise enough for my exceedingly long and unexplained absence! How awful of me, leaving you all like that, with no explanation and no warning. I imagine that half of you must hate me for abandoning you, and the other half are sat wondering who the hell I am as you have forgotten all about me.
Allow me to try to explain:
There I was, innocently making my way through life, working hard, socialising, blogging and generally living a happy life. Suddenly, a being of all evil appeared in my room and announced my death. From that day onwards, I was not allowed to socialise, to relax, to sleep for hours, to watch TV, to eat the entire tucky, and worst of all, to blog. I must dedicate all hours to the arduous task upon which was set before me by this Devil. This demon was called AQA, and my mission, which I had no choice but to accept, was to complete 4 A Levels. The punishment was deadly – no admittance to school next year, therefore no University, no Journalism degree, no job, no money, no house, no food, and ultimately resulting in death. As this challenge loomed above me, like a Dementor sucking out every ounce of happiness from my poor soul, I knew I had to battle through. And battle I did. I poured over revision cards, destroyed forests with the amount of mind maps I created, and got through an extraordinary amount of coloured pens. I went to bed late and rose early, determined to revise every blasted moment of every damned day. Blood, sweat and tears burst from every pore of my body. The final exams arrived – the true test of all my hard work. On the 13th, I smashed through Philosophy and Ethics. I met the Vietnam War in the History paper on the 14th, and defeated the North Vietnamese with their own guerrilla tactics, destroying the Ho Chi Minh Trail with my knowledge bombs. I then fired my artillery of war literature down onto the English exam on the 17th. And with one final blow, I stabbed the Drama exam straight through the Proscenium Arch into the heart on the 21st, fleeing the war zone, the taste of victory on my lips as I flung open the door to my study. I had taken on A Levels, and I had won.
Well, I’ll see on August 15th if I did truly win this battle or if they annihilated me instead, but lets just forget about that for now, shall we? Or I may have a heart attack in fear as the day looms…
Upon winning this battle, I promptly fell asleep for what felt like forever, sinking into my pillow and finally succumbing to the familiar hug of sleep. When I rose, I knew what I had to do – and that was to blog. Opening the classic WordPress iPhone application, I almost forgot my password – it had been so long. I was pleasantly surprised that despite my absence, my blog was still receiving hits. How comforting to know that people still read the words of a negligent blogger! Typing this blog now, I am filled with such delight. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to indulge in my creative side and spill words out in the knowledge that people will actually read it! If you have kept faith with me, dear readers, after all this time, I am humbled. I shall not let you again like this, ever, and if by some shock horror I may be absent for a while once again, I will at least warn you first. Again, I am so terribly sorry. Do forgive me, oh incredible readers of the blog!
So much has happened in my absence, and I will make sure to fill you in on everything over the next few days. For now though, my dear readers, I bid you farewell! It’s so good to be back. Much love to you all. Goodnight.