As you read this blog, I must warn that you will find, honest thoughts, ambitions, and hopes from my mind.
Today, my darling sister told me I was dangerous to shop with. It’s not the first time someone has said this. It’s because when I go out shopping and others ask me what I think of something, I suddenly turn into a straight, female version of Gok Wan. Whilst other people just shrug and say, ‘That’s nice’ or ‘No I don’t like it’, I decide to give my full opinion. Compliments pour from my mouth. I suggest places to wear it to, and what you could wear it with. I love to boost other people’s confidence, because I know how horrible it is when you don’t like how you look. The only problem is, people tend to spend all of their money when they’re with me. On today’s excursion, my sister bought some amazing summery wedges – a wonderful buy! Expensive, but wonderful!
I love shoes. I stare at them with lust in my eyes, dreaming of my pretty little feet walking around in these beauties, feeling glamorous with every step, loving life. Then I come crashing back to reality and remember that I have monster size 9 feet – disastrous for a girl.
Do you know how hard it is to get pretty shoes in my size? All those glittery heels, summery sandals, stylish brogues… Always available in a 5 or a 6. But a 9? No way. No beautiful shoes for Bigfoot over here. Some shops like New Look have now realised that some girls are cursed with big feet, and have taken pity, making shoes for us so we can feel amazing too. But as giant feet girls are in the minority, only a limited number of these shoes are made in our size, so they go almost as quickly as they come in! The last time I bought summer wedges was in 2011 – that’s 2 whole years ago! So now I just stick with unisex trainers or chunky boots, like Converse, Doc Martens and Lee Coopers. Don’t get me wrong, I love these shoes – there’s so many cool designs, and they are so incredibly comfy! But I just wish I could have some pairs of more feminine shoes. It’s so easy for other girls to get them… Why not for me?
After convincing my sister of how beautiful her little feet looked in her wedges and taking her to the till to buy them with my additional wonderful student discount (see, there are bonuses to being related to me!), I sadly looked around the rest of the shoe section in New Look. Skyscraper heels ordained with multicoloured glitter. Adorable wedges perfect for summer garden parties. Beaded sandals on sale. I sat down on the little footstool and began to dream of a day when there would be surgery which would make your feet smaller (although I would be way too scared to get it).
And that’s when I saw them. Out of the corner of my eye, just sat on the bottom shelf, there they were. A mere glance and they were suddenly there. Beautiful shoes. Black boots with laces and hooks that come just above your ankle, with a solid heel behind them and a zip on the inner side. I stared at them for a moment, not daring to blink in case they disappeared. They were amazing. They were badass boots of a rock chick rebelling against society, like something Effy Stonem from Skins would wear. They were the shoes of the person I wish I could be, but the person I wasn’t, from fear of the judgemental eyes of today’s society. They were me in a nutshell.
I needed them. If I ever wanted to look like that rebellious youth from my dreams, I had to get them. My hand reached out a little, but I withdrew it quickly, my brain suddenly remembering my curse of Shrek feet. I imagined some other girl with little size 6 feet swooping down in front of me and taking them, skipping off into the distance with the shoes that would probably end up at the back of her wardrobe and never warn. I couldn’t let that happen – I had to at least look! New Look do size 9s, so maybe, just maybe, there might be some there. I frantically searched through all the pairs, but alas – the biggest they had were a size 8. I sat back down, my heart sinking as my dreams were crushed by one sight of a number. I looked at the beautiful boots with sadness in my eyes. Size 8 was so close. So damn close.
Maybe… Maybe close enough. Maybe these were a big size 8. You get those, don’t you? I’ve heard my mother before exclaiming that a pair of shoes in her size were too big, so she had to go for the smaller size that was not her usual size. My eyes regained their sparkle of hope as I quickly threw off my Lee Coopers and clutched at the boots. I took a deep breath, and thrust my left foot inside a boot, preparing myself for disappointment with my heel not even getting halfway down. To my amazement, my foot hit the bottom of the boot, and I zipped it up with ease. I pulled on the right one – again, my foot hit the bottom. I slowly stood up and felt room between my toes and the end of the shoe – ACTUAL ROOM! They fit! A size 8 fit! These beautiful shoes – they actually fit! I excitedly ran to the mirror – I could run in heels! – and stared at these gorgeous boots on my feet. Running back to my seat, I slid them off carefully before running to the till to buy them. I pulled out my student discount card and lowered the price from £29.99 to £26.99 – not much, but every little helps! I then handed over my £20 gift card before paying the rest with my debit card. So, technically speaking, I only paid £6.99 for these gorgeous little boots! How amazing is that!
As soon as I got back to my sisters, where I have been staying since last Saturday, I pulled them out the bag and just stared at them for a while, not believing that they were actually mine… Mine! All mine! I placed them on my feet and walked to the train station to catch my train home. It’s sad to think I’m saying goodbye to my sister – I’ve had such an amazing few days with her and my beautiful niece, Maisie, and I really need to come back again! But it will be lovely to go home and see my parents and brother who I know must have missed me so much. Ahh… So loved!
I’m currently sat on my final train of the day as I write this blog, which is actually at standstill for some odd reason – one stop away from my one as well, how annoying! – and I’m still wearing my new shoes. I genuinely love them. Every step I take feels like magic in these shoes… Like the world is a better place… Like I’m not on a grimy train floor, but the red carpet in Hollywood. It’s silly to think that shoes really change the way you feel that much, but it’s true. I actually love how I look right now, and that’s one of the best feelings in the world. What an excellent purchase!
Well, my dear readers, do you think shoes can change how you feel about yourself, or am I alone in this? Comment below! Much love to you all. Goodnight.